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Originally Posted by Blossom
We've been together 19 years next May so you have to understand you don't just walk away from someone when the going gets tough. I was sick during most of the early years he took care of me with minium complaining. lol Now he's sick and needs help and I'm patient enough to wait out his denial. These problems have only escalated in last three years. Money, stress and health play a big part. It's so easy to snap at each other during those times.
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True enough, but what you are describing is not just 'snapping'; it's controlling behavior to an extent that is not normal. Something has to be done about it, or there might be very severe problems later on. (I'm not a psychologist; it's just how I feel.)
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I have no doubt if we had healthcare he would be getting help. I need a blood transfusion the doctor says. I can't afford it. I have a $2500 medical bill for being diagnosed with something the ER knew I had.
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This is what we are dealing with here.
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Sorry to hear that. That's barbaric. In the Netherlands, you pay insurance (obligatory), and most very expensive things are covered. The things you pay yourself is the 'cheap' stuff: glasses, contact lenses, small medicines, etc. We've got something called "Eigen Risico" ("For your own risk"); the government has set a minimum and a maximum. If you raise your maximum, your insurance fee is decreases; if you lower your minimum risk, the fee increases. On the top of my head, the minimum is €350, maximum is somewhere in the €600's.
"Eigen Risico" resets every year.
If you need something small, such as cheap medicines for this or that, you have to pay this yourself until your "Eigen Risico" is used up. After that, insurance covers everything. If you need something big, like a heart transplant, you'll pay the amount of "Eigen Risico" that is still left in your account for that year, and then the insurance covers the rest.
So, if you have an "Eigen Risico" of €350 (and pay the accompanying insurance fee), you'll never pay more than €350 in that year, whatever happens, even if you break your neck and are hospitalized for six months.
(Eh... as far as I know... I'm not up to date with the very very latest rules.)
So yes, I've been paying monthly insurance for 20 years now, and never, ever needed anything close to using up my "Eigen Risico", but _IF_ something should happen that would cost me like €25.0000, it'll be paid for me. (Except for the first €350.)
This is how health insurance should work, IMHO.
The only drawback is that there are some people who are sick for life with some sort of illness who require treatments costing 50K a year.... and they only pay €350 (and insurance) for it. The rest is paid by all the people who are NOT sick...
Because young people pay a lot without getting seriously ill or hospitalized (mostly, anyway), it's often said that you're paying for all the health care you're going to use up when you're 70+...