Quote:
Originally Posted by montsnmags
Iain William Killyuall
Manager - Complaints Area
Montsnmags Enterprises
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Iain William Killyuall
Manager - Complaints Area
Montsnmags Enterprises
Dear Sir,
Due to apparent mental incapacitation, I have been granted power of attorney over Mr. LazyScot. As such, your letter has been passed on to me.
The medical personnel treating Mr. LazyScot are somewhat at a loss as a cause to the source of his incapacity, and following my disclosure of your letter, wonder if you might be able to shed some light on his rather strange behaviour. Among his "symptoms" are:
- an insistence on wearing a tin-foil all-in-one suit with hood, and a fencing mask, all the time (this has provided a challenge in administering electroconvulsive therapy),
- a habit of answering questions with phrases such as "be careful asking questions, you might be acutelated if you ask the right question", or "the blue one... no, no the other blue one, yes that blue one, over there, next to the fish" before giggling manically and ending up rolling around on the floor in hysterics.
- he is very upset if his USB key is removed from him, the one brief period when it was taken from him all that was seen was a partial list of filenames before he grabbed it back (the charge nurse of the day is still on sick leave), among the filenames was the cryptic "Who Vera, Harv"
- at a thankfully decreasing rate (currently about once per day) he shouts "incoming" and appears to anyone watching to go very fuzzy before falling over and saying someone incomprehensible things like "that tasted mauve",
- he breaks into a cold sweat when anything like a small fury animal appears (generally he is kept clear of any Television Sets),
- he seems to have developed an immunity and all sedatives, and, judging by the time he found the senior consultants' cocktail cabinet, he is also resistant to alcohol.
Despite the extensive medical publications his condition is providing them with, they would appreciate it if you can provide any useful information. I will gladly pass the such information on. I am assuming that, given their interest in your letter, you would not wish to contact them directly.
Yours Sincerely,
Mr Xander Tortion, LLB,
Partner, Billit, Chargeit and Grabit,
Legal Services.