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To take the last thing first: My limited experience (in getting rejected) with agents and traditional publishers is that they are looking for as close to perfect as they can get, so if you want to give your novel the best chance possible, get a professional editor in to help you polish the text. This has the added advantage that you are ready for independent publishing if you have no luck on the traditional path.
As to the real crux of your post: knowing when it's ready.
It sounds like you've done all the right things. Leaving it aside for a while and getting some reader responses. Only you can have any idea how unbiased those reviews may have been.
You speak of giving one character a makeover. My obsessive nature would tend to have me put it aside for a while after completing that and then reading it over yet again to see if you're happy with the changes. ... But you are right, you have to be careful not to get into an endless circle of procrastination. At some point you have to decide you've done all you can.
I know of no "vital sign" to tell you when you've done enough. There is only where it feels right to you.
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