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OK, due to some unforeseen things getting in the way it's only this past evening that I was able to use Calibre, both to erase a bunch of books my wife appeared not to want as to add a bunch she did want. All went flawlessly and the books appeared immediately after the "black period" that occurred after logging the Reader off the computer.
I am always careful in being overly optimistic but as for now I have the impression that Calibre solved the aforementioned problems. Too bad I had to go the Kobe and then Adobe route, this feels a lot more reliable.
Thanks again to all for your great help, and I'm sorry if I appeared somewhat scatterbrained. I just wasn't prepared for all these complications when I bought something which I more or less expected to be just as accessible as an external harddisk.
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