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Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer
It's twofold. For as long as I can remember during stressful periods I get blamed for things that go wrong. If I do something right, say spend half a day making decorations for the shop window that customer love, it's my sister who gets the credit for it.
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Eh, wait. Let me get this straight.
Something happens, not caused by you, and you get the blame.
You do something nice, all by yourself, and your sister gets the credit.
Where did i hear of a situation like that before... oh yeah. In Cinderella.
If I had been you, I'd have found my own job outside of the store, and high-tailed out of there a long time ago.
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Second, I know my father blames me for not waking up sooner during the fire. I've heard him tell acquaintances that if I had woken up sooner the damage wouldn't have been as big (conveniently forgetting he didn't wake up at all until we woke him).
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WTF. It's *his* shop, isn't it? Install a (louder) fire alarm, or even one that's connected to the fire station at all times. The fire brigade might actually arrive before you wake up.
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After the fire my uncle thought it was the right time to do what he probably wanted to do for a long time. Just after we opened the store again and it looks like things could start to go back to normal my uncle started the whole process. Those two events are linked into one because they followed each other so soon. Hence me also being blamed for my uncles adult temper tantrum. Also if I had woken up sooner and the damage wouldn't have been as big we would have more money to fight my uncle.
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So what is it you're fighting about? It looks like he saw his chance to start a law suit because you might actually lose it because of being short on cash after a fire. Nice sort of uncle you have there.
Still, in the end, it's your father's brother, so let *him* deal with it.
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Also, I'm not useful. My sister studied law, and although she specialized in notary law she helps with deciphering the letters from lawyers and court and helps write letters to those same people. I can't do that, I can only help in the store and by being the lightning rod for everybody to get rid their stress.
As I said, after four years I'm incredibly tired.
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I'd have left after the first year if I were you.
But, to some extent, I know how you feel. My mom has told me more than once that I should start leading a 'normal' life.
With 'normal', she means find a girlfriend that stays at home to care for the children (or works part time at most), buy the said home (as big and expensive as you can afford), have two cars (one for each) and then live on the edge of financial possibilities. You should be afraid the government lowers this or that subsidy by €5, because in that case, you can't eat for one day in the week, and turn around every penny seven times before spending it.
Basically, finish school as soon as possible, get to work, raise kids, live on the edge of your financial means for like 25 years, work another 15-20 years, be pensioned off at 60-67 and die. The 'perfect life' according to mom, and society, it seems.
I've just described my sister's life, and my mom thinks she's doing wonderful "despite the fact she only finished high school."
My life?
I've finished a bachelor degree in IT, and I'm currently (slowly) working through a master I started last year... just because I could. Technically, I'm still 'in school' in my mid-thirties. My mom thinks it's ridiculous. In my 40 hour work week, I earn as much money as my sister and brother-in-law do together, in their combined 60 hours of work, and if all goes according to plan, it'll get better after the master is done; assuming I can find/switch to a job at that level.
I have no children. Because of poor eyesight, I have no car, but work pays for my public transport subscription, so I go (almost) everywhere for free. Yeah, I'd like to have a car, but I can't, so I've learned to live with that 20 years ago. I live in the smallest and cheapest rented condo I can possibly get away with, and stripped all subscriptions I could, apart from internet and mobile phone, simply because I'm either not home, or if I am, I don't need them. I want to be able to move at a moment's notice, precisely because I can't drive a car. I don't smoke. Or drink. I go through 2 bottles of whiskey... per year. At the most, mostly because I get them as presents for birthday and Christmas. (I find that stuff waaay too expensive to buy regularly.)
The end result is that I can do (and indeed do) what-ever-the-frack I want. I buy what I want, when I want, as long as I stay somewhat within reason. I can actually still save money.
Mind you: I'm not rich by any means, but I live positively spartan and quite frugal most of the time, which is why I can do whatever I want most of the time.
According to my mom, I still live like a 20 year old student, and it's about time I got my act together. Getting a girlfriend after such a long break gave her some hope apparently, seeing some of the comments I received.
If my mom thinks my life is becoming more 'normal' now, she couldn't be further from the truth. If anything, it has become even less mainstream... but I'm noit going to tell her. I don't want to murder her by causing a quadruple heart attack
