[Rumpelteazer]

Today my uncle's reaction to the judges verdict (it isn't the final verdict, but one that he makes during the ongoing court case). Basically it's as we expected: he accepts the judges verdict/opinion conditionally. And then in the rest of the letter he clearly doesn't agree with anything. He also, still, wants to the delay everything, he wants all court cases to be put on halt to discuss the matter between the two parties (him and my dad). My father won't agree to this; there have been many meetings, twice they went to mediation and my uncle did everything he could to draw out those processes.

Even though his letter is as expected it hit me hard. I think it must be his determination to delay things. It's been going on for almost four years now. For four years I've been blamed for everything that went wrong. For four years I haven't been allowed to discuss the matter with anyone outside the family, yet my family doesn't really want to discuss it when I'm there. In four years' time nobody has asked me how I'm doing, everyone is feeling so sorry for my sister and my cousins (my uncle's children). Plus it also doesn't help that my hormones are out of whack because my period are about to start.

I'm feeling emotionally and mentally drained, empty and extremely tired.