You can't edit your own work - you MUST employ an editor. I looked at your sample and unfortunately I spotted numerous errors in the first few pages of it. It's very, very badly in need of editing.
E.g.:
Quote:
|
The dreams never revealed what had caused the world to fall into this, but was alright.
|
This makes no sense. What was "alright"?
Quote:
|
The elder of the brothers acted as a shield when his barrier for Lance, taking the blows for him. Very few made it passed to strike Lance.
|
The first sentence again makes no sense - what does "when his barrier" mean? In the second sentence, it should say "made it past", not "made it passed".
Those are two random examples out of dozens on the first few pages alone.