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Old 04-10-2017, 04:27 PM   #6
ZodWallop
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In general I like it, though I think it's too wordy. For the type of story you're selling, maybe short, choppy sentences and a few exclamation points. At least in the second and the last sentences.

Also, maybe the last sentence should be split. "First in the Doc Vandal series of pulp adventures!" could be moved to the top of the synopsis and "Find out in Against the Eldest Flame!" could end it.

Quote:
First in the Doc Vandal series of pulp adventures!

When Nazi gorillas try to crash a Zeppelin full of zombies into Doc Vandal’s home on the 87th floor, he knows he’s got trouble.

On one side you have an enemy older than time, intelligent gorillas, zombies, Nazi aerial battleships, and really big dinosaurs!

On the other: Doc Vandal, the world’s foremost scientific adventurer, Gus, a gorilla with a fistful of doctorates and secrets bigger than he is, and Vic, an expatriate Russian countess and daredevil pilot with a predilection for playing solitaire with razor-edged cards.

Can Doc and friends save the world from the tyranny of the Eldest Flame? Can Vic kill a Tyrannosaur with a short sword?

Find out in... Against the Eldest Flame!
How's that?

Last edited by ZodWallop; 04-10-2017 at 04:38 PM.
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