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Looking for "firmware" on the devices, I noticed that the "aeroplane mode" was turned on for the silver, off for the black ("turn on" visible). This was the only difference I could see in the settings. So I turned aeroplane mode off (on the silver), plugged it into the iMac - and whaddya know? It shows up on the desktop (and no baffling multiple files inside this one).
So I seemed to have solved it by accident, with your help - although there's no logic to it. But it has worked - I can connect and disconnect correctly, manage the content, and there was no way I could do that before. Bizarre!
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