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Old Tom had a problem that just before he woke up in the morning he let out a tremendous fart. His wife Doris told him if he keeps it up, one day he will fart his gut out. Then on Thanksgiving, Doris was feeling a little sneaky, so when she removed the innards from the turkey she snuck up the her sleeping husband and carefully placed the entrails in the back if his shorts. Later in the kitchen, Doris hears the usual noise followed by a horrible scream and running feet. A few minute later her husband comes down the stairs, white and shaken. He looks at his wife and says, “Honey, you were right. I finally farted my guts out. But with a jar of Vaseline and these two fingers, they are all back where they belong.
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