Quote:
Originally Posted by HarryT
The first one goes into way too much detail for a blurb, to my mind. A blurb shouldn't contain every detail of the plot.
The second is better, but still not particularly good. For example "But something's not right." is a sentence fragment, not a sentence. It should be followed by a colon or semi-colon, not a full stop.
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Thanks Harry. Agree about the detail of the first being too much. But I kind of like sentence fragments in blurbs. Just a few, that is.