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Old 10-07-2016, 10:07 AM   #6
Gregg Bell
Gregg Bell
Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by meeera View Post
The second is a lot better than the first. I'd rethink the term 'feeble', though. What do you actually mean? Thin? Sick? Floppy/low tone? Not hitting milestones?

(I'd also suggest having someone med-pick your manuscript, if you haven't already. For example, a baby that is truly in a lot of medical trouble often doesn't cry, but shuts down to conserve energy. Which is dangerous as it can be interpreted as 'a good baby' who is happy and satisfied.).
Thanks meeera. I'm trying "weak" rather than "feeble." And yeah, the med-pick. I wrote a book that had a pregnant character and oh, did I hear it about how I had the details wrong. Fortunately, before publication.
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