Thread: Which blurb is better?
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Old 10-06-2016, 09:24 PM   #3
meeera
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The second is a lot better than the first. I'd rethink the term 'feeble', though. What do you actually mean? Thin? Sick? Floppy/low tone? Not hitting milestones?

(I'd also suggest having someone med-pick your manuscript, if you haven't already. For example, a baby that is truly in a lot of medical trouble often doesn't cry, but shuts down to conserve energy. Which is dangerous as it can be interpreted as 'a good baby' who is happy and satisfied.).
Last edited by meeera; 10-06-2016 at 09:27 PM.
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