Quote:
Originally Posted by ProfCrash
OK, so someone explain to me how it is my loving husband, and he is a great, loving husband, is still trying to convince me that I do not need to go with him when he goes to donate bone marrow for his fathers bone marrow transplant. We are on round three of this conversation.
It is a surgical procedure that requires he be knocked out and stay in the hospital for at least one day. Why the hell am I explaining why I will be there for a third time?
My parents are coming out to watch the Little Man so that I can travel with my Husband. I get that it seems like a lot of coordination but this is not something trivial. He is having surgery, his father is going to be in an isolation ward waiting for the bone marrow, his mother is going to be stressing over his father and her son. To me it makes sense that I would be there because, well, it is surgery and it removes some of my MILs stress. If I am there she will still worry about her son but she knows that someone is there for him so she can focus on her husband.
My parents are able to come out and watch the Little Man. We have friends who are near by and will lend a hand. I might ask them come and pick him up for day care so my Dad doesn't have to worry about that. Little man gets to spend four days with his grandparents, who he loves.
To top it all off, I am not a total basket case worrying about surgery, recovery and my FIL 1,000 miles away.
And yes I have said all of this to my Husband. Three different times we have had this conversation.
Just blowing off some steam because I know he is worried and that this all sucks awfully for him and he wants to make my life as easy as possible but I am sick of having the same conversation and having to explain everything to him. He has flat out said he wants me there but he doesn't want to inconvenience people.
I am guessing that his Dad feels the same way but life sucks sometimes and you suck it up and do your best to make it suck less. In this case that means visiting twice in a three month period and being their to support him during an insanely difficult time.
Just ARRRGGGHHHHHH
I am going to drink more tea now...
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If it was my husband. Nothing would keep me away. You need to be there just in case something goes wrong. You are the one who has to make the decisions. You're his wife.
I was there for my husband during his outpatient hernia surgery. Longest two hours of my life. I had to make decisions and be debrief while hubby was out. When they wheeled him out he looked like a ghost he was sooooo pale. That image is burned in my head forever. We had the most wonderful cab driver. Dwayne. He helped me get him in the cab. He refused to take any money for fare. He waited thirty minutes at Walgreens while I got Hubby's meds. Wonderful man. He was from New Orleans.
Bottom line is you need to be there. To make sure he is getting the best of care and no mistakes are made.You need to be there for your MIL as well in case something goes wrong. She is going to need hand holding. Waiting alone sucks. Just tell him you are going and that's the end of it and if it was you in his place you hope he would do the same.
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