Quote:
Originally Posted by Blossom
I need to vent.
Maisy has been sick for over a week. It's her time, I know it, she knows it, the vet knows it but my husband refuses to let go.
<SNIP>
It's going to come down to me defying him and god I don't know how he'll recover. I can't let this continue. I can't let her suffer. All he sees is vomit and her going outside the litter box. He doesn't see what I see. What I feel coming from her. She refuses to take any pills. She'll pretend to take them and then spit them out later. She doesn't want this prolonged. She wants peace and so do I.
|
Blossom:
I've always had to be the one who does the necessary, as the Brits say. My husband can't. He just can't.
My last thing--not to make you feel worse, on a Sunday, but stomach cancer is
one of the most painful ways to die. When my Ragdoll--a cat I'd had 17 years, and loved indescribably, came down with cancer, it wasn't in her tum, and I did take her through chemo (she lived another 1.5 years, the chemo was successful, but she was in GREAT shape when we found it.) BUT, when my first Maine Coon came down with stomach cancer, even though we found it early--I had him put down that day. He was obviously in discomfort and didn't want to eat. No point in prolonging his suffering.
(My grandmother had stomach cancer, and was in HORRIBLE pain. My vet says that there's no reason to think that it's any different for cats. The vet I'm citing is a specialist in feline cancer.)
Just tell your husband the truth--putting a pet down is
the most brutal thing. You can't ask them how they feel, you can't have discussions about it, long before something happens, etc. It's your duty and responsibility
to make those choices for them. As hard as it is, it's selfish--this is what you have to say to him--to make them suffer
just so you don't have to grieve. Those of us who love our pets like children--we all know how you feel. How he feels. But...this is part of the responsibility of being adults, and pet owners. If he can't agree--then you have to do the hard thing.
One of the lines from the mysterious (ha) author Trevanian, that has always stuck with me, is from Shibumi, IIRC, and it went something like ...
"Who does the hard thing?
He who can."
My sincere sympathies to you and your husband, and Maisie.
Hitch