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I think the biggest misunderstanding about the whole situation is right in the first post. Privately owned and operated forums aren't democracies, they are benevolent dictatorships (a term common in open source software circles). We're on their turf, and as long as we understand that, then since we're here by choice, it's all good.
Instead of thinking of it as 'we're citizens of a country and the mods are the govt' as the op suggested, I like to think of a very different kind of community: The local pub.
We're the regulars, or sometimes tourists passing through. The mods are the bartenders and bouncers and the publican, and since it's their local too, they'll be here drinking (uhh, commenting) when they're off duty too. But if the publican says the dress-code is peacock feather fascinators or no entry, they're perfectly entitled to throw us out for wearing swan feathers instead or the forum insists you can only post in purple and orange alternating paragraphs. Of course those are stupid rules and pub or forum, if the rules are too unreasonable or ridiculous, people won't come back.
That's a line the forum owners (not govt, owners) have to walk, but they really don't owe us any explanation. But most people don't seem to find the rules here too onerous or unreasonable, I know I sure don't.
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