Quote:
Originally Posted by Rumpelteazer
I've just received the email my aunt send. Oh, wow, just wow. This will cause a sh*tstorm, especially if some cousins read it. She told him the grandchildren will go scatter grandma's ashes and that she, my uncle, my father and mother will meet us all in the restaurant for a drink. She continues that both she and my dad do not want to see my uncle and if he plans to attend anyway he should let it be known so she and my dad can avoid him. The reason: he didn't care about grandma and ends the email be a quote from an email from my uncle earlier this year to prove her point.
If the expected storm breaks loose and I, as the organizer, end up in the middle of it I'll pull my hands off it and some other cousin can take over.
I have to admit, though, that it's nice to see my aunt telling my uncle how she really feels. Now I'm off to take a nice hot shower and curl up in bed and watch one of my guilty pleasures: Most Haunted. (and also take an aspirin for my headache)
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I'm taking a break from today's "How Many Things Can Go Wrong With Hitch's STUFF" moan, {(*&^%$#@! keyboard!} to bring you this "I've been stuck with this type of crap for ages" speech.
We have had scads of drama in our family. A funny uncle (sigh), and a family kerfuffle, ages ago, not dissimilar to what I'm inferring is happening with you (family businesses).
You quite simply can't make everyone happy. Don't even try. If Party A says that they won't show up because Party B is there, tough carp.
I second what Cin said. Set a time and a place. Send out an invite/email that says
"This is it. This is where X and Y and Z will be, and those parties are scattering the ashes. A and B and C will be designated kiddie wranglers at the MNO Restaurant, from xx:xx to YY.YY. All welcome. No feuds, bickering, or asinine behavior welcome. If you can't be civil, don't come."
With certain changes--the location, kiddie wranglers, and all that, that's the exact email I sent out when we last had an official Family Dump. YES, including the last line. I always thought that Ashes would be the LEAST problematic for a family, right? No big expensive funeral, blabbety, but some people will always raise havoc.
Oh, I should add, as much as I hate to, you should probably NOT have booze at the Big Dump. Always adds to strife, particularly when it's simmering close to the surface, anyway.
Now, despite my rather charming way of inviting folks (really, wasn't it?), some did get their knickers in a twist. Silly buggers.
I won't go into the rest of it--it's likely tedious to those not involved, (hell, it's tedious to those that ARE involved), but..let's just say that the last solution, after they had pushed me to the edge, was that EVERYBODY got a "share" of the ashes. Yup.
That's right. (And, by the way--it shut them right the hell up. Next invite? Everybody RSVP'ed muy pronto, and there was NO bickering at all.)
Sent the old folks Fedex. Hither and Yon, as evenly distributed as I could manage. Even sprung for some really nice, first-class baggies.
There's a rumor floating about that some of the (late) family have been, er...spread around QUITE a bit.
Quite. And..er, have been...what's that word I'm looking for...{
cough} "enhanced." With...
fireplace ashes. I can't imagine what devious person might have done that. (And really, dammit--who looked???)
Everybody wins. Of course, nobody but the perpetrator knows about the augmentation. But, so what? Why NOT let everybody have their little handful? Who cares?
I know, I know, it's scandalous. Meh. It's a LOT better than dealing with BS when you oughtn't to have to deal with it in the first place. Why on earth should YOU be stuck with it? I HATE that "oh, but, you're the responsible one" speech. Really? What, the rest can't get up in the morning, brush their teeth, go to work?
Nonsense. Your grandmother's CHILDREN are still alive, and one of them should get up off his or her duff and do it themselves. Stick you with it? Trust me, one set of baggies, and they'll never ask you again. (You could even, well...not do it. Just find a fireplace. You'd be surprised at how cooperative people become if they think that you'll do just about ANYTHING. Then you could take her wherever you think that she'd have liked, you and your close cousins, and...everybody will be happy. Or, hell with that, YOU will be happy.)
Hitch