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Yes, I agree with your interpretation of the "smoking" episode, Bookworm_Girl.
I think divorce was pretty rare and ruining of one's reputation - quite probably even of the innocent party, always supposing one was actually innocent and one guilty. The idea of a breakdown of the relationship and agreement between the parties that they would be better to divorce was just not an option until relatively recently. The story about your grandmother's family is I think a good illustration of the opprobrium in which divorce was held at that time.
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