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Old 04-11-2016, 04:05 AM   #1
Mort1997
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Location: UK
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Free Amazon UK - One Hundred Ways to a Happy Dog

Free on Amazon UK - One Hundred Ways to a Happy Dog by Celia Haddon

Spoiler:
Your dog is your best friend. In return for food, more food, fun, and your affection, he will give you lifelong loyalty and leave his paw prints on your heart forever.


Admire your dog’s nature. Dogs don’t care if their human is rich or poor, young or old, black or white, fit or disabled, beautiful or ugly. Whether their human lives in a palace or a cardboard box, they will follow them.

Let your dog be a dog. Be wise for him but don’t expect him to understand that he can’t scratch his backside in front of the vicar! If it itches, he scratches — anywhere, any time!

Respect your dog’s understanding. However much you understand your dog, he will probably understand you better. That’s why he’s disappeared when you’ve decided to give him a bath!

One Hundred Ways to a Happy Dog is a unique and entertaining little book of inspiring quotes for dog lovers and owners, written with the humour and insight of someone who has a true passion for pets.

Full of useful ideas, it is a valuable guide which discusses breeding, training, nutrition and exercise, for puppies and older dogs, as well as offering helpful solutions to common problems you may encounter with your canine companion.


UK
http://www.amazon.co.uk/One-Hundred-...ndeavour+press


US
http://www.amazon.com/One-Hundred-Wa...ndeavour+press

Au
http://www.amazon.com.au/One-Hundred...ndeavour+press

Can
http://www.amazon.ca/One-Hundred-Way...ndeavour+press

The title of this book made me think of a funny that someone sent me about Cats and dogs. See below

Spoiler:
WHAT PETS WRITE IN THEIR DIARIES
Excerpts from a Dog's Diary......


8:00 am - Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk Bones! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary...


Day 983 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a 'good little hunter' I am. Bastards.

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of 'allergies.' I must learn what this means and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now................

Last edited by Mort1997; 04-11-2016 at 08:22 AM. Reason: links corrected
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