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I have repaired 'broken' calibre databases, without having access to the author and book folders, returned the database to the owner, which they have then gone on to use.
If your friend is going to use the library manager to update the metadata by downloading from Amazon, Goodreads etc then I'm pretty sure calibre will need the author and book folders.
If you take a copy of the library and remove all the format files, you should have something your friend can use to update the metadata. Remember the metadata in format files is not updated unless they are sent to a device, saved to disk or the polish or embed metadata functions are invoked.
I can't guarantee using one of the sqlite utilities will do what you want. They are just tools, that you will have to use in some well-defined and robust workflow procedures.
As for exporting the 'bookless' library - I would simply put it in an archive and have your friend unarchive it, when she's finished she probably only needs to return the database to you.
Its just an idea, you may not need it if someone writes the PI for you. I cannot guarantee it will work for you. If you're not convinced it will work, or you're not confident that you and your friend can make it work - don't do it.
Another approach might be to create a CSV catalogue from the existing library, send that to your friend who would use the Import List plugin to create a book-less library. After she has updated the metadata she would create a CSV catalogue which you would read with the Import List plugin.
BR
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