calibre only supports two connection methods.
USBMS identified via vendor ids.
wireless plugin via a specially written client program. Written to order and maintained by @chaley for his Android app "Calibre Companion", though KOReader now uses the same infrastructure as well.
If you are connecting to your computer via sshfs you will have to use the Connect to folder method -- no two ways about it.
...
Personally, I think maybe the OpenInkpot people should've considered supporting USBMS.
There is no trick to supporting sshfs, I do it on my Kindle with USBNetwork for ssh support...
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