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He panicked as he stared at the Kindle's screen, and realized sickly that he had done something, somehow, incredibly wrong, and his girlfriend's Kindle was doing its damndest to download the entire Amazon catalog of e-books... he struggled with every button, lost two fingernails struggling to open the tricky battery compartment, even resorted to yelling, shaking and slapping at the reader, but it would not stop; and he saw with certainty his life ending, as the truly unimaginable bill from Amazon would hit her bank account, and set off enough red lights and klaxons that the FBI itself would surely perk up at the prospect of hunting her down... the moment when the truth came out, and he would be assaulted with the withering look from her that would signal the end of sex as he knew it... and even as he imagined he could hear twenty black Ford Torinos with "FBI" emblazoned on their roofs, led by Jeff Bezos' limo, bearing down upon his house, he rushed for the tool shed, praying to himself that he could find some way to shut the reader down that would not ultimately result in his beheading or castration.
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