Quote:
Originally Posted by LazyScot
Montsnmags Enterprises
Alcohol and Hallucinogens
Subscriptions Department
Dear Entity,
I wish to cancel my subscription to your "services" with immediate effect.
I also wish to complain about the sales tactics of your agent. Although I admit my memory of events is somewhat shaky as I had just tasted a 50ml sample of the "Zany Carter", I feel this was the agent taking unfair advantage of the impact this drink had on my mental faculties. There are several points I wish to raise in complaint. Firstly, I had expected the sample to arrive on a monthly and not 4-hourly basis. Secondly, I had expected a "normal" delivery process and not intra-cranial teleportation of the sample cocktails. Thirdly, I was not made aware of the delivery side effects (*). Fourthly, I has assumed that the subscription was payable in GB pounds.
Your sincerely,
A very frazzled LazyScot.
(*) To be specific The delivery is accompanied by: - a light-display made of colours that cannot possibly exist, and if they did, would be classified as weapons of mass displacement,
- a set of smells that are the nasal equivalent of a Pratchetian sense of humour uncarefully blended with the experiences of Thomas de Quincey,
- a feeling of being wrapped in a very large warm fluffy dressing gown/robe and then pushed backwards into a very deep jacuzzi set to 15 minute lobster.
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Serves ya right for not reading the "fine print" with your pocket electron microscope...