[AnnGirdharry]

I'd like to start a thread where you can post a paragraph or so of your work (word count guideline 150 words max) and get back comments from the next person in line.

The next person will give the previous paragraph a score out of ten
give a couple of positive comments (3 max)
plus some suggestions for improvement (2 max)
then post a paragraph of their own work on which they will receive comments from the next person in line

etc.
Anyone interested in participating?

Let's kick it off!

My paragraph-

The man at the apartment door emanated the resilience of someone who'd delved into many a gruesome murder. Probably in his early fifties, and with a grey pallor to his complexion, he seemed to have been permanently impregnated with the dirty side of London. Kal noted his shrewd, panoramic sweep of the environment, which drank in details without appearing to do so.
She’d learned how to read people's faces and interpret their behaviour from an early age. With exactitude she'd been tutored in how to assess someone from a few snatches of conversation and how to read body language and the subtle messages people tried so hard to hide. Yes, Kal thought, this man will pretend to be starting from zero, whereas in reality he’s made a running start with his veiled appraisal of me and Sarah and the state of the apartment.

note1- I have edited para to paragraph as per Dr Drib's comment in the next post
note2 -I have participated in two writers' forums where a thread of this type has worked extremely well, despite its limitations