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Old 10-21-2015, 06:21 AM   #12
Dr. Drib
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregg Bell View Post
Her vulnerability her inability to tolerate ridicule had led her to kill another human being.


#1) Her vulnerability, her inability to tolerate ridicule, had led her to kill another human being.

#2) Her vulnerability, her inability to tolerate ridicule had led her to kill another human being.

#3) another way

I wouldn't use any of yours. I would use mine:

1) Her vulnerability, including an inability to tolerate ridicule, had led her to kill another human being.

Another point: You use too many pronouns in one sentence.

By Greg Bell and Don Broyles
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