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Gregg Bell · 10-10-2015, 02:45 PM

All right you jokers! The book is done. And, good doctor, it's still MY BLURB. LOL

I know you're going to hate me but I'm still not convinced the short one is the way to go. Several beta readers prefer this one to it:

#1) Seventeen-year old Annie Rebarchek’s stoked when billionaire Houston Monroe hires her as a nanny for the summer. It’s just the kind of job that will look good on her college applications.

But something’s not right. Annie thinks the baby looks ill and cries too much, but Monroe shrugs off her concern. As the baby’s health fades, Annie grows increasingly alarmed, but can she convince anyone to take her word against Monroe’s? Or will she become ensnared in Monroe’s web of lies, deception and evil that threatens both the innocent child and Annie herself?

Here's the short one again:

#2) Seventeen-year-old Annie Rebarchek is on the run with a baby. The police are closing in.

Annie thought the nanny position she’d landed working for billionaire Houston Monroe was the perfect summer job. She was wrong. Now she’s finding out what life is like with the world turned against her.

How about a vote here in MR. Notwithstanding reservations do you prefer #1 (the long one) or #2 (the short one)?

10-10-2015, 02:45 PM	#144
Gregg Bell Gregg Bell Posts: 2,266 Karma: 3917598 Join Date: Jan 2013 Location: Itasca, Illinois Device: Kindle Touch 7, Sony PRS300, Fire HD8 Tablet	All right you jokers! The book is done. And, good doctor, it's still MY BLURB. LOL I know you're going to hate me but I'm still not convinced the short one is the way to go. Several beta readers prefer this one to it: #1) Seventeen-year old Annie Rebarchek’s stoked when billionaire Houston Monroe hires her as a nanny for the summer. It’s just the kind of job that will look good on her college applications. But something’s not right. Annie thinks the baby looks ill and cries too much, but Monroe shrugs off her concern. As the baby’s health fades, Annie grows increasingly alarmed, but can she convince anyone to take her word against Monroe’s? Or will she become ensnared in Monroe’s web of lies, deception and evil that threatens both the innocent child and Annie herself? Here's the short one again: #2) Seventeen-year-old Annie Rebarchek is on the run with a baby. The police are closing in. Annie thought the nanny position she’d landed working for billionaire Houston Monroe was the perfect summer job. She was wrong. Now she’s finding out what life is like with the world turned against her. How about a vote here in MR. Notwithstanding reservations do you prefer #1 (the long one) or #2 (the short one)?