Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw
Would that be the same rail that the conversation is on? Once a conversation gets going it can be hard to derail it. 
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Ha ha. For sure.
Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw
Your final version reads better than the #99 variations. Except this sentence: "As the baby’s health fades, Annie grows increasingly alarmed, but can she convince anyone to take her word against Monroe’s?" That feels a bit convoluted to me.
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Yeah, it's a little clunky. But at the same times it conveys a lot and keeps the punchiness going.