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Old 10-08-2015, 10:40 PM   #119
Hitch
Bookmaker & Cat Slave
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Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw View Post
I may not go so far as Hitch, in suggesting you rearrange the book, but the blurb definitely needs a hook. Something difference or distinction or intrigue to grab the reader's attention.
I wasn't, actually, suggesting that. But, you never know. It might work well.

Quote:
The conflict between not wanting to give the story away but still wanting to give enough to interest the reader is a problem I'm all too familiar with. It's one reason why I suggested looking for other hooks - like something based on Monroe, for example. But this new line of thought about being on the run with the baby offers possibilities.

A line like this:

It may be her first job, but even Annie knows that a nanny shouldn't have to steal the baby just to save its life. But what choice does she have?

Isn't quite so explicit (or dramatic) as what you first suggested - about being on the run from police. It only hints that that is where it will go. Perhaps that is a suitable compromise?
I like that suggested bit of description.

Hitch
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