Quote:
Originally Posted by ApK
I think you just did it.
I understand you want to tell more about what kind of story they're getting, but that line right there is compelling.
Honestly it's the first blurb here that's made me interested to read the book (except for your reveal about the eugenics and stuff, which is cool, but you don't want to give that away.)
Those two short lines above say "young protagonist, vulnerable baby, crime, action, risk, suspense, punchy style, quick pace."
ApK
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Everybody says the blurb shouldn't go beyond Act One (if you consider the novel a three Act thing). That blurb would be in Act Two, leapfrogging Act One altogether.
Readers would then feel like Why am I reading Act One? I know she's going to be on the run with the baby so I'll just jump to it.
If my book started with Annie on the run with a baby that would be cool. But it doesn't.
The tension in my blurb is, Faced with this great pressure of the sick child and up against Monroe's power and influence, what will Annie do?
And of course from the title (
Saving Baby) we know she's going to be saving the baby.