Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw
What baby? As a reviewer I'd be guessing it's the one in the book title "Saving Baby".  |
Yeah but people are going to be wondering where the baby is and who it belongs to. "A baby" In an orphanage, a home, on the street?[/QUOTE]
Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw
Who's Annie? I'd be guessing the person doing the saving in "Saving Baby".
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Same sort of thing. They'd want to know something about Annie (at least chances are) Is she a passersby? Old young? The father's sister?
Quote:
Originally Posted by gmw
The offering was just an offering, trying something different. As a later post of mine suggested, you don't have to use the baby as the opening hook. If you're supposed to be wondering why a billionaire isn't caring for his baby then maybe he should be the opening hook.
Take note of that longer blurb from The Partner. The hook is in the second sentence, not the first, but it's still right up close to the top. It may be a longer blurb, but by the time you've read that second sentence you have reason to keep reading - and that's what we're looking for.
Please note that I was really only trying to practise what I had been describing. I do not feel that I am in any position to tell you what you should be doing/using - that is entirely your call.
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No, G.M., I appreciate your feedback and input. That's why I'm here (because I don't know how to do this).