Quote:
Originally Posted by Hitch
You know, I'm sorry. I read the earlier lengthy explanation by you about child welfare, etc., but wouldn't the police automatically call child welfare? I mean..I realize that this is screwing with your plotline, and I'm sorry, but even if she told a guidance counselor, they'd call child welfare. How are you planning to isolate this girl so she can't do any of the normal things that would happen IRL?
So, okay, you say that all the cops are corrupt, and that shuts off that venue. But school's always on, in the summer, nowadays, and guidance counselors--all psychologists and all that--are available too.
I still think you're adding too much detail. Honestly, Catlady's version works better as a selling tool than yours, BECAUSE of the very reasons you are mentioning.
When I read Catlady's, I assume that the author has managed to figure a way to suspend my disbelief, somehow. When I read yours, I have more questions about that, not as a description-helper, but as a reader. As in: okay, so her daddy and the cops didn't work. What about all the OTHER resources she has? When I read Catlady's, I don't even think about that. Her version actually works better, because it has a lot less detail, and it makes me think LESS about the improbabilities, rather than MORE.
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Okay, fair enough. I can see that. Makes sense. Thanks Hitch.