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Just adding my voice to those that liked Catlady's version. Pretty much all the detail you are adding seems to be the sort of stuff I assumed would be the case after reading the shorter blurb. More to the point, I actually read that short blurb - I start to glaze over before reaching the end of the longer ones.
Gregg, you seem very attached to having a longer blurb. And hey, it's your book, you can do what you want. But there seems a consensus here, putting up changed versions that don't really change anything isn't getting you very far. Either take Dr. Drib's advice and try again from scratch or take what you want from what's been offered so far and run with it.
If you felt like starting from scratch, some of my best blurb ideas (or what I think are the best) have come from adapting sentences/paragraphs directly from the story. It doesn't always work, but I find it can be worth trying.
Now I just have to work out how to con Catlady into a time machine, go back three years and get help rewriting the blurb for my first novel. It has many of the same problems being addressed in yours. A niece told me then that it had too much detail. I think my niece was right, but I couldn't come up with anything better at the time. Everything shorter that I tried sounded cheap, nasty and clichéd. Note: I do not think such a description applies to Catlady's blurb for your novel.
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