Quote:
Originally Posted by Gregg Bell
So Annie convinces someone (or not) to take her word against Monroe's, or she's entrapped in the web of lies, deception etc... ? Why?
|
WHY? Well, READ THE BOOK and find out!! Duh.
Seriously, two questions for you:
1. ARE you describing the whole plot (other than the reveal) as people are concerned you are, or is everything you are describing revealed in the first few chapters and there is much more to the story?
2. You keep expanding the more concise suggestions with more detail. Do you have a reason in mind we might not be picking up on? Do you feel some of the details you are are giving will sell the book better? Are you trying to communicate something about the book we are missing?
If so, then your last revision above is pretty good, but I have a bit of an issue with this:
"She goes to her father, who thinks she’s exaggerating. So she goes to the police and alerts the media, but Monroe has the corrupt police in his back pocket and the media intimidated. "
That reads to me like a plot synopsis posted by a young reader in an Amazon review. If those details are to stay in, how about something more like:
"Her father thinks she's exaggerating, the media fear Monroe's influence, and the police are in his back pocket."