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Old 09-30-2015, 10:21 PM   #13
Gregg Bell
Gregg Bell
Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Gregg Bell ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Join Date: Jan 2013
Location: Itasca, Illinois
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Quote:
Originally Posted by arjaybe View Post
Gregg, it seems like you're still telling the story rather than hinting at it.
Thanks rgb. It's such a balancing act. Too much, too little.

The more I think about it, the more I think you're right. I'm wondering what will happen if I do it like this:

High-schooler Annie Rebarchek gets the chance of a lifetime.

She lands a job working as a nanny for billionaire Houston Monroe. But something’s wrong. Monroe’s baby is terribly ill and crying constantly, and Monroe won’t let Annie hold it. He’s practicing ‘self-soothing’ child rearing, he says, but Annie thinks something more sinister might be happening.


There's a lot of suspense if I end it right there but it's still missing an ending zinger. But here's the problem: if I say something like, "Will Annie find the courage to heed the baby's cry?" people will say, 'Well, why didn't she just go to the police or the media?' (all the stuff I'm deleting.)

Last edited by Gregg Bell; 09-30-2015 at 11:01 PM. Reason: Because I am really neurotic and couldn't make up my mind.
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