Quote:
Originally Posted by issybird
Oy. You have a glaring grammatical error and a spelling error (repeated) in the above. It doesn't fill the gentle reader with confidence.
OK. You've said, several times, that you wrote the exact story you wanted and that it's perfect as is and can't be improved. There it is, then. Carry on.
But since you refer to a three-star and a four-star rating as affirmation, I'm going for the reality check. Aside from any stylistic issues (you say style, other posters say just wrong), I think the story is quite bad. I read the preview and it's preposterous, frankly. A worker in a homeless shelter decides on her own authority to place a stray child who just showed up in a foster home? Are you serious? What about the police? What about child welfare? Is this an alternative universe and it's just not apparent yet? Because this is not how this world works. Even if I thought your style the equivalent of Proust's, I would call foul.
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Thank you for the response. Perhaps I should make this part of the description more clear. In the story, the
possibility of a foster home is the only thing that's brought up and the worker at the homeless shelter calls to make sure there's a place available,
if needed. Of course there are many, many steps to be taken between then and actually going into a foster home, but you are seeing the situation through the child's eyes. The point of view of view from the adult is totally different, but the boy convinces himself that he is definitely being sent to a foster home and runs away without really thinking the situation through. I don't want to give anything else away, but another factor to consider is that a lot of what is going on is very wishy-washy. I'll leave it at that, but you really have to read it to find out what I mean, and even then, what's really going on is up for debate.
Hope this clears it up. I'll re-read the description and see if it's unclear in this regard. Thanks. - David