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As a reader, i think your title is fine (and the other ones were probably fine too). I would however encourage you to learn more about cover typography. To me, yours screams "self-pubbed on the cheap", which isn't a great ad for the writing. Have a look at the typography in some of the other books in your genre (especially the professionally published ones), read around about cover typography - you can get an ok result DIYing with a little learning and thought. (Or of course a better result again paying a professional cover design, which may or may not be within your means.)
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