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Hitch · 07-11-2015, 06:00 PM

...and I answered it, 'cuz we are open on Saturdays.

Minute 1: "hi, I'm writing a children's book, and I saw a post you wrote on the KDP about using certain aspects of bookmaking, so that Amazon would notice your book. I'd like to ask you about that?" (n.b.: not what I said, but...)
Minute 6: (still talking, mind you) "...and really, the more I look into this, the more overly-complicated it seems to be, and I'm thinking, maybe I shouldn't continue with this, because, after all, my time is valuable. (and, apparently, mine isn't...I still haven't ACTUALLY SPOKEN, other than the introduction, mind you).
Minute 20: "Oh, okay, so you're saying what I thought, that really, I should work on something else. I have SO MANY projects going..." (me: {sigh}).
Minute 30: "But if I continue, that means I would have to hire illustrators..." (me: !!!!! WT{insert expletive here}...this is a partly-finished kids' story, that isn't even ILLUSTRATED YET? Partly completed of, what, 34 freaking pages?...I've been on the line HOW long?)
Minute 35: "But, I'm working on this non-fiction book with my partner, ..." (okay, so, now, maybe, we're getting somewhere....)
Minute 45: "So, can you tell me, WHY would I use YOUR company, as opposed to doing something else, or using some other company? What's the advantage?" (you mean, aside from actually sitting here listening to you for nearly an hour?)
Minute 54: "Ok, well, that sounds GREAT. Oh, I should have mentioned, the non-fiction book is about 20 pages long. I'm going to have my partner call you, too, in case s/he has any questions."

My only defense here, is that we make good money on SOME kids' books. This is a sort of never-ending issue--that we get people who DO spend good money on their Fixed-Layout books (including audio, which we resell from a recording co. in the UK), so the time spent on listening to the story of (X) is usually worthwhile--BUT, there are also, "I taped this together in MS Paint and I have $50, will that be enough" tire kickers. I usually try to weed them out fairly early on, but this fellow just ran on and on and on, so fast (and with mobile-phone delay in the line) that it was hard for me to get a word in edgewise.

TWENTY pages. Oh, he thanked me for my time, and all that...but it'll take me about 5 books' worth of net to pay for that time. I should have cut it off as soon as I knew that the kids' book was not only unillustrated, but not even fully written--but then he went off into the "non-fiction" spiel. You just never know when something might be worth pursuing. Nonetheless...

{SIGH}.

Hitch

07-11-2015, 06:00 PM	#26217
Hitch Bookmaker & Cat Slave Posts: 11,503 Karma: 158448243 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Phoenix, AZ Device: K2, iPad, KFire, PPW, Voyage, NookColor. 2 Droid, Oasis, Boox Note2	So, first, the phone rang.... ...and I answered it, 'cuz we are open on Saturdays. Minute 1: "hi, I'm writing a children's book, and I saw a post you wrote on the KDP about using certain aspects of bookmaking, so that Amazon would notice your book. I'd like to ask you about that?" (n.b.: not what I said, but...) Minute 6: (still talking, mind you) "...and really, the more I look into this, the more overly-complicated it seems to be, and I'm thinking, maybe I shouldn't continue with this, because, after all, my time is valuable. (and, apparently, mine isn't...I still haven't ACTUALLY SPOKEN, other than the introduction, mind you). Minute 20: "Oh, okay, so you're saying what I thought, that really, I should work on something else. I have SO MANY projects going..." (me: {sigh}). Minute 30: "But if I continue, that means I would have to hire illustrators..." (me: !!!!! WT{insert expletive here}...this is a partly-finished kids' story, that isn't even ILLUSTRATED YET? Partly completed of, what, 34 freaking pages?...I've been on the line HOW long?) Minute 35: "But, I'm working on this non-fiction book with my partner, ..." (okay, so, now, maybe, we're getting somewhere....) Minute 45: "So, can you tell me, WHY would I use YOUR company, as opposed to doing something else, or using some other company? What's the advantage?" (you mean, aside from actually sitting here listening to you for nearly an hour?) Minute 54: "Ok, well, that sounds GREAT. Oh, I should have mentioned, the non-fiction book is about 20 pages long. I'm going to have my partner call you, too, in case s/he has any questions." My only defense here, is that we make good money on SOME kids' books. This is a sort of never-ending issue--that we get people who DO spend good money on their Fixed-Layout books (including audio, which we resell from a recording co. in the UK), so the time spent on listening to the story of (X) is usually worthwhile--BUT, there are also, "I taped this together in MS Paint and I have $50, will that be enough" tire kickers. I usually try to weed them out fairly early on, but this fellow just ran on and on and on, so fast (and with mobile-phone delay in the line) that it was hard for me to get a word in edgewise. TWENTY pages. Oh, he thanked me for my time, and all that...but it'll take me about 5 books' worth of net to pay for that time. I should have cut it off as soon as I knew that the kids' book was not only unillustrated, but not even fully written--but then he went off into the "non-fiction" spiel. You just never know when something might be worth pursuing. Nonetheless... {SIGH}. Hitch