One question you may need to ask yourself when looking at reviews of a new release is whether the author had any control or influence over the reviews from Aunt Jemima or Uncle Bert. It is not necessarily the author's fault that relations may have put up what they thought was a helpful review.
When I look over reviews of a book, I look at the content of a selection of reviews (both good and bad). Reviews without meaningful content (in either direction) I just skip over. I imagine most people do something similar.
I'm not sure why you feel obliged to emphasise Indy writers for terrible fantasy, it seems to me that there is considerable precedent among traditionally published fantasy. The main thing that traditionally published fantasy has going for it is that at least it has been professionally edited. Which leads to the next point...
I am guessing that HarryT has the ready answer (familiar to any of us that have been here very long
) for the comma-splice issue you have raised: An author should not try to edit their own work. Having sometimes been guilty of producing run-on sentences in my own writing, I naturally cringed a little when I read your post. I imagine most of us have been guilty of this or other crimes against the currently accepted styles of grammar from time to time. This is what editors and proof-readers are for, but some will escape detection, and the author must accept responsibility for the final result.
But, I would also add that I tend to avoid explicit criticism unless the crimes are truly heinous; obvious and repeated offences that have no viable defence. There are two reasons for this reservation on my part. Firstly, what I said above about being guilty of such offences myself and knowing that some may get through to final publication. And, secondly, there can be some latitude given in acceptable styles, particularly in fiction.
See
Wikipedia: Comma splice
Quote:
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Some English style guides consider comma splices appropriate in certain situations, such as when being poetic or with short, similar phrases.
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Latitude also exists in many other circumstances with the dreaded comma, making it one of the more difficult forms of punctuation to get right. The central point with most of the latitude is that strictly correct is less important than what is clear in the context.
The vagaries surrounding commas is one reason why I prefer the term "run-on sentence" to "comma-splice". The former expresses the problem that needs to be addressed (you can pick generally pick the problem when you try to read it aloud), the latter is a technical term that doesn't do much to aid understanding.
Fiction punctuated to very strict grammar rules is going to feel quite stilted and unnatural. Which isn't trying to say it can ignore the rules, but it must know which rules are meant to be bent and when. This is why it can be important to look for outside help.