[Dr. Drib]

I think having a 'bad' review (something that doesn't gush all over the place like someone with a terminal case of the squirts), is a good and healthy thing to have.

Having Aunt Jemima or Uncle Bert [they're probably wanted by the police, anyway] write reviews for your book is a bad, bad, bad thing to have on a review page.

And speaking of bad reviews, why are so many fantasy novels (mainly from Indy writers) so horribly, horribly, horribly bad?

Another, different writer here on Mobileread - and again, he must remain nameless lest he be pelted with rotten eggs which, unfortunately, is against our Posting Guidelines [hey, but I'm working on it] - doesn't know a comma from a comma splice. Here's an example (but not an actual example) of a horrible, horrible, horrible fantasy excerpt (from a novel not yet written) along with comma splices and insipid dialogue to show you what I mean:


Turlow yawned into the night and stretched his lithe body along the banks of Lake Beageeger. The faint light from a wandering Garrgeeler lit the way for him as the dawn approached, he wondered if a Gallagel was hot on his trail, but instead a lone Gelelgeeg made a glargling sound - 'glargle, glargle' - he stood still. Yes, there it was again: the sound of a lone Gelelgeeg calling to his mate, he wondered if Sheelleg would miss him, he hoped so. He couldn't stand her constant whining, it made for a difficult sleep, but her leathery skin was an excitement that he would miss. Ah, well, he said to himself, "I must not tarry here long 'ere Lord Darwin gather his forces, thus terminating my life forthwith!"

What's up with these horrible, bad, insipid fantasy novels populating the Indy market, written by (what I would assume) are otherwise nice dude and dudette-type writers? [Think Smurfs and Smurrfette.] Huh? What's up with that?!

Pass the Bromo Seltzer, Bob, 'ere I heave a big one!