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Hah! Suffer in yer jocks, you lot! In 1 minute it's Christmas here, and I get to open up all my presents, and you other observers have to wait. HA HA HA!
(Note, to those who open presents on Christmas Eve, it has been concluded in international courts and in a communion of all major Christian denominations that doing is a form of "cheating". It does not count, and also, you're probably going to hell (wear shorts)...or maybe Old Sydney Town (wear shorts)...I get my history and religion mixed up sometimes).
I don't wish you anything, because, for me, if wishes were horses we'd all be eating leftover horse-meat 'til Easter. Just don't murder an older sibling or call your mother a miserable, old cow who destroyed your self-esteem, and enjoy the fact that you're not at work today (tomorrow)...probably...and if you are at work, well, you don't have to worry about killing a sibling or insulting your own mother, so it's all good.
To those practising animists, I'd just like to apologise in advance for eating any of your gods...well, actually, cooking them today too...on the barbecue and in the oven...but you probably don't need the details...but if it's any consolation I'm pretty sure the bird's gonna be dry and the pig's a bit charcoal-y on top.
Merry...(you know the rest)
Cheers,
Marc
(PS. I don't actually have any presents)
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