[LazyScot]

"BATAI???" screamed LazyScot, as the BatPickup he was driving swerved.

"He's gone," said Penny

"What?" said a very confused LazyScot to a suddenly sinking heavy feeling.

"Sorry, I mean he's off fighting a Google Search Engine."

"A little bit of explanation would be appreciated," said a somewhat relieved LazyScot.

"Okay. It seems that a Google search engine suddenly became sentient, conscious and for some reason we don't yet know, extremely annoyed with us. It took it a bit to locate us, and as soon as it did, it tried first taking over the BatAI, and then it decided to try and taking over me. This really upset the BatAI, who promptly tried to defend me, " explained Penny, with a very wistful tone during the last sentence.

"That doesn't sound too good to me," observed LazyScot.

"Oh, he should be fine. I loaned him a couple of my Montsmag Enterprises (Cyberwarfare Division) munitions and armaments libraries as he was leaving. And he certainly seems to have kept the search engine busy. I'm not detecting any attacks, though there do appear to be sporadic spasms on the internet."

And so, whilst Penny and LazyScot talked, BatAI and the Google Search Engine fought a mighty battle, debating across the internet, flying from site to site, congesting links and confusing sysadmins with strange network usage patterns, and many people on the internet had somewhat strange experiences. For example, Mrs Tellis, of North Wales, was looking for new sofa and instead was presented with a recipe for chocolate marmite. She was so surprised she rushed off to write a letter to Radio 4. Meanwhile, Silverstrus MacAvity Bastet the Third, the ruling cat overlord of 423 Magnolia Avenue, whilst browsing the Cat News Network, was shocked to read that catnip had just been classified as a class A drug and that mandatory blood tests where to be introduced on all cats on a daily basis. Mr Andrew MacNeil nearly passed out when, whilst reading his favourite website, found that every advert was not only of interest and relevance to him, but that they were adverting products at the lowest prices, including delivery and taxes, and that they were in stock and available for delivery.

All this activity was missed by the worlds' military, where the sole impact was the appearance of a few lolcat pictures on junior officers screens, and an un-noticed reduction in stock levels on a few computers.

"Uh-oh," said Penny. "Ah.. Only the mark III – no problem."

"I'm getting worried again," said LazyScot.

"It seems that the Google engine has launched some missiles against us. But they're only the mark III models; incredibly easy for my countermeasures," responded Penny, and with that six tiny bright lights streaked away from the VentureOne riding away on trails of smoke. And with that the team carried on driving back to the secret conceal entrance to the Bat Tunnel that was also the secret escape from the Lounge.

"Sorry about that," said the BatAI after about five minutes, startling everyone.

"Are you okay?" asked Penny nervously.

"What happened, and are we safe from the Google engine?" ask LazyScot.

"Yes, I'm fine, Penny. As for the Google Engine we had something of a heated discussion, which I was definitely winning, when it suddenly disappeared."

"My hero," said Penny, sincerely.

"I can't take credit for this," said BatAI, embarrassedly. "It seems that it got hit with a whole collection of copyright lawsuits from Scott Adams' lawyers over infringement of a cartoon strip in which a server becomes sentient. I think it would have also been hit by some from Charlie Stross' as well over the 419, his planned sequel to Halting State, but he was down the pub at the time."

"I still think you're my hero," cooed Penny.

"Anyhow," flustered out the embarrassed BatAI, "it fled, unfortunately I've no idea where it went, despite looking for it. The only thing is, I think it still wants LazyScot—it's really annoyed about the stuff you moved onto your key."

"What? The movies?" said LazyScot, confusedly.

"Nope, the story. It seems it hadn't finished reading it and is really pissed of about not know if Vera and Harvness get to kiss. Strange."

"Ummmm," said LazyScot. "Look, here's the entrance to the tunnel. Quick open it."

And so, at long last, the intrepid team, together with their new additions disappear into a tunnel entrance that was then promptly concealed behind bushed and a road barrier, and head back to the back cave.

"What took you so long?" ask the assembled loungers are the shoppers pulled to a halt and got out.

"Didn't you leave with two Pandaborg, not eight?" asked pshrynk.

"Good grief, you'd think you'd be glad to see us back. At least you could help us get this stuff out and help set up for tonight's party….." grumped an un-appreciated LazyScot.