[eschwartz]

So, I'm finally home for the summer, and within one week, already a mentally deranged family member has managed to put the front door key somewhere "safe" instead of in the outdoor key safe where it belongs. I swear this place is mentally retarded...

When do I find this out? Right after I get back from someone else's house, and discover that everyone else in my family went to the eye doctor.
No one brought their goddamn phone with them. The front door is locked, and I have no way of getting in or contacting anyone to discuss the matter with sharp pointy sticks.
And of course it is really hot today, as it has been pretty much any day that it isn't raining buckets.

And for good measure,

...
...
...
15 minutes later...

Yeah, I just broke into my own house through a window. That would be the same window that we routinely broke in through when I was 8. I would've thought it would be fixed by now!