thank you all for ideas.
meanwhile I've switched from windows 8.1 to windows 7 and most of my problems (if not all) are gone.
right clicking the same huge folder takes about 2-3 seconds for the context menu to show (at first sight of the folder by the OS).
the second right click produces and instant context menu with zero delay.
I guess it was either windows 8's blame (my guess) or some shell extension or a combination of both.
I don't plan on working directly on the calibre library folder but sometimes I just want to check its properties of direclty search for a book without opening calibre (using everything search - in case I didn't specified: this is a search program diferent form window's search! my windows's search indexing usually get disabled within the few next days after a fresh install)
Using right click -> Search Everything it takes no longer than 1 second to find a book by file name and extension partial match.
If I do this within calibre I first have to wait for it to start (if it's not started) then every search takes a little longer (about 3-5 seconds; less if i filter by some criteria first)
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