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"Okay, oh marvellous BatAI, " said LazyScot as the team got out of the pickup, dismounted from their motorbikes and clambered out of the trailer, " so what are we after here?"
"The brain. It'll be the right size, but with a few extra additions," said the BatAI.
"Okay, " sighed LazyScot, who was slowly learning not to question impossible silliness, "so do we just walk in and pick it up?"
"Yup!" replied the BatAI, far too cheerfully and optimistically for LazyScot's taste. And with that, they all trooped into the building.
"So just what is this place, anyway?" asked LazyScot in a tone not expecting an answer as the menagerie ambled down the corridor of the apparently unoccupied building.
"It’s the super secret emergency backup and unmanned research facility for Google. And it houses a spare wikipedia server, " answered the BatAI in an alarmingly nonchalant and matter of fact way. Every one stopped moving. "They use those a few of those brains, with additions, as backup servers. That's the additions the brain will have."
"Err… WHAT??" spluttered LazyScot.
"Don't worry about it. You'll be in and out in no time. It'll be perfectly safe. There's no-one here."
"Okay, so I'm worried. Lets get this over with as quickly as possible." And with that everyone started moving rapidly onwards.
"Third door on the right, straight through the lab into the corridor on the other side and it's the door opposite, " directed the BatAI. "Oh, try not to talk whilst you're going through the lab."
"Why not?"
"They've an advanced search engine linked to a highly advanced, military spec fabrication system, " explained the BatAI to a very intrigued LazyScot who developed a gleam in his eye. And with that the team entered the lab.
"Venture One," said LazyScot. And with that the room darkened and silent machinery spun into action. In a matter of seconds, a perfect, fully functional Venture One rolled into the room, and the lights returned.
"Tom Waits." Shouted an enthusiastic Zelda a few seconds too late as everyone rushed to get out of the lab before temptation produced some serious copyright violations.
"spoilsports, " said Zelda. "oh well. i guess at least steve jordan will be happy."
"It's just fair payment for his stories this year. Right let's get the brain and get out of here before anything goes wrong, " said LazyScot pushing the Venture One into the lab and loading the brain into it. "What are those?" asked LazyScot indicating a pile of boxes labelled "battery operated, handheld liquidizers".
"They're a plot device. Don't worry about them." Responded a curt BatAI.
"Okay. However, one thing troubles me. How come they have no security given the importance and value of all this stuff?"
"Oh this is Google. They don't need it. They know everything."
"What on earth do you mean?" queried a confused LazyScot.
"Well, since Google know everything, though their monitoring of everything on the net, they know what will happen before it happens. So they can stop it, or arrange appropriate defence."
"Ah. I think we have a problem."
"How so?" asked the BatAI.
"Well all of this is being typed by me into a website. That is indexed by Google…"
"Oh B---," started the BatAI as various alarms and klaxons went off.
"DUCK!!! Killer Kumquats…." Shouted LazyScot diving to the floor as a small, high velocity flying orange fruit narrowly missed him and embedded itself deep in the wall.
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