[Greg Anos]

I gave the long distance dung a gander and said, "Maybe."
"You don't believe me? Go take a closer look."
"Now, Ralph, you're probably got that thing booby-trapped 6 ways from Sunday. I think I'll just gaze at it from here, Thank y'all anyways."
"Of course it's not. 97 ways from Sunday might be more accurate. And I'm the only one who knows how to deactivate them all."
"Sounds like you hold all the Aces, Ralph. Why don't you at least come out and say 'Hi' before you bump us off?"
VR started peeing on the floor again. I didn't know he had any left in him.
"You might try some trick, Red."
"Well, true, but then again you always said a German Sheperd was worth any three men in a rough and tumble. Tell you what, I'll back up against the door. Your human, whom I made a point of not bumping off, is just outside. He'll hit that door on your command and knock me sprawling before I could do anything, anyways."
Long silence.
"Ok, back up against the door slowly."
I did so, putting my hands behind I managed to slip my right hand in my back pocket and slipped out a dozen pennies, which I had in both back pockets. I reached the door.
"Good enough, Ralph?"
I heard a soft bark, and a door opened near the doorway to the display. A German Shepard walked in, and looked at VR standing in a puddle of pee. He walked to the center of the room.
"Can't you afford a better dog than that?"
"Ralph, you know what honest PI's get paid. He's all I can afford. Even then, I have'ta juggle the books occasionally."
I glanced at VR, His ears were back, flat as he could get 'em.
"Ralph, what is this really all about?"
He looked at me. "Milking a billion out of rich old women isn't motive enough for you, Red."
"No it's not. Ralph, you're smart enough to milk a billion or two out of the system without litterin' the landscape with bodies. Look at the money you're already made with all the book deals and such. So what's the real burr under your saddle."
"Why should I tell you."
"Think of it as a dyin' man's last request. We were pards once, remember. Beside's, you've got everything planned down to the last detail, anyway."
"Yeah." An evil light semmed to gleam in his eyes.
"Honest PI. Honest and dumb. Typical smooth ape. Good hands and no brains. But like any ape, you cheat when you can. But Pinwheel picked the wrong dog to cheat. And you're all paying the price for cheating me."
While he was talking, my body shielded my right hand. Which was busy pennying the door. Win, lose or draw, this was gonna be over in a couple of minutes. And there wasn't gonna be any draw.
"Cheat?" I said (and was) puzzled, "How did you get cheated. You got the prize you asked for."
"PRIZE!" he screamed, "YOU CALL THAT A PRIZE? SHE WAS FIXED!!!"
That's when VR charged him from the rear three-quarted angle. I charged straight for the .22.
Ralph von Wau Wau started to turn to meet VR and saw me move as his forequarters turned. He knew if I could get the gun, it was curtains for him. He tried to shift back to me and slipped. He got onto his feet, starting to charge me, when VR hit him, following the three rules of dirty fighting.
The howl could'da been heard all the way to Melbourne. My hand grabbed the butt of the .22. I brought the gun in line as Ralph turned howling to try to get at VR. Phut, Phut, Phut, went the .22. Three through the the pump. Ralph started gushing blood.
I continued my roll and brought the gun to bear at the door. The first bang held, but the second one didn't. GeoffC came in with a Glock in hand, but my .22 was already zeroed on him.
"DROP IT. DROP IT. You'll never get it on target before you take one through the pump!"
He froze just long enough for him to lose the initiative. He knew I had the drop on him, so he dropped the gun.
"Now kick it over to the corner."
He did.
Now go over to the other corner and strip.
"Strip?"
"Right, strip! To the buff! I'm not takin' any chances on a holdout!"
He started slinging clothes. When he was naked, I said. "Turn around slow."
When it was obvious the only weapons he had left were the ones nature had equipped him with, I said, "Now go stand in the far corner."
He promptly did. Only then, did I look at VR.
VR was a blood splattered mess. "You Ok, VR?"
"Sure, Red. It's all Ralph's blood. You're bl--dy quick with that gun."
"Complaints, still?"
"No, thanks still."
Yep, Ralph had had everthing figgered. Everything except a smart Doggie, chewing his cojones off.
I called BadGoodDeb. "Have the Ambassador call his opposite number pronto. We've taken care of Ralph, but we don't have the Dinosaur Dropping yet, and I don't want this to turn into a Fort Apache."
"Are you and VR OK?"
"Sure, although I'm afraid this adventure left a bad taste in VR's mouth. And have the Ambassador have the Aussies to bring some metal detectors."
"OK, Boss. The Ambassador is already talking to the Aussie equivalent of our Secretary of State now."
I went and did a one-handed search of GeoffC's clothes. They were clean. I pitched him a handful. "Go ahead and get presentable. It looks like you're going to have to find a new gig."
"I guess it'll be behind bars."
"Not necessarily. Ralph's checks are now rubber, so if you help us find and sort out the process notes and the samples, we can get you out of here under diplomatic immunity, as a Pinwheel spy. You'll be kicked out of the country, but that beats jail."
"It certainly does. I'm your man."
"Ok VR?"
"Sure, Red. We do need his help."
GeoffC goggled. "He talks too?'
"Yep, usually too much." I reached over and scratched him behind his ears.