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~ahem~ It has come to the attention of the undead legal arm of Montsnmags Enterprises that some at-this-stage unnamed parties have been providing counterfeit Zany Carters (TM) and ill-prepared and unapproved variations thereof to one of our PR Divisions most valued customers, whom we are most honoured to represent, that being DixieGal (known affectionately to the Chief Executive Officer as "Mother Dearest", and to the primate head of the Defence and Interfenestration Department as "My sweetest of sweets" at least if he could do anything other than gibber).
We are advised by both the CEO and Adrian to take whatever action is necessary to ensure our trademarks are not so casually exploited, and that the lovely DixieGal's glorious image is not so sullied with such a sub-standard product (Jimmy Carter indeed - she's surely worth at least the bitterness of a Nixon to counter the Zany). We have also been advised to warn you, against our own better advice, that the inadequate kowtowing currently directed towards our client, DixieGal, has given serious offence to the CEO and Adrian for which personalised repercussions are currently being planned. We have advised against the use of Pirate Ninja Squirrels, but have been ignored, and are deeply concerned at the potential results of the steroidal and genetic enhancements our employers have performed on them in their labs.
The gibbon is gibbering. The CEO has a psychopathic gleam in his third eye. The "Giggle"ing PNS battalions have banded in their billions behind their two leaders. It's possible no-one is safe. Our recommendation: run.
Yours apocalyptically,
The Undead
Legal Department
Montsnmags Enterprises
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