[Greg Anos]

"All right, VR, you're the money pooch. How do we get to Oz?"
"In your case, how about in a shark's stomach."
"No whale? I know you're cutting corners, but you oughta have some taste."
"I couldn't get you inside a shark anyway, professional courtesy only goes so far. What's in your pouch? It looks like it weighs a ton."
"Pretty close. Just gifts for pretty girls."
VR shook his head. "Let me guess, none of this would pass a commercial airline metal detector."
"Give the doggie a slab of bacon!"
"I am not a doggie!" growled VR. " I hired you!"
"By the by, how do you diplomat smuggle your diplomatic pouches in when the don't meet commercial airliner spec?"
"Professional secret. I figured you would do this. I've chartered a plane with one of our own people as pilot."
"Who?"
"Pshynk."
Goody. A talking dog and a flying shrink. Lord, the things I do for money....
"When will it be ready to vamanos?"
"If you mean leave, it's waiting for us at the airport."
"Mount up, Buell."
So VR, his human, and I headed to the airport. We went to the private plane area, where VR's human waived the Diplomatic papers around, which got us through without any searches. I was pulling a trolley with all the bags and diplomatic pouches.
Hauling up all those bags was a bear, since as we had waived those Diplomatic papers, nobody could touch the bags but us. I think VR wants me to be a baggage handler in my next life.
I finally got the last bag in and collapsed into a seat. The lauch slot was in another 30 minutes. I decided to take a little nap.
I woke up to the engines warming up. We got in line for takeoff. Eventually we got to first in line, and off we went.
About 30 seconds later, VR hopped up on the chair next to me. "All right, redneck, we're on our way. Start talking."
"Ok, did I ever tell you about the time the red-headed barmaid -"
"Stop! STOP! You blithering idiot! What about the guy who stole the Golden Coprolite!"
"Oh, him. I don't really know who stole it."
VR bared his teeth. I could tell I was about to get an armful of teeth if I didn't stop baiting him. Pity. Baiting him was more fun than the case had been, so far.
"VR, you hired me to find the Golden Coprolite, not who stole it in the first place. Besides, you want the mastermind, not the small fry. Calm down."
"Then try to be more co-operative than a politican at a press conference!"
"Weeelll, you're not going to like the answer. Matter of fact you're going to hate the answer. First look at these pictures." I showed him the front, side, and back.
"Looks, like a German Sheperd."
"Yep, not just any German Shepard. It's Ralph von Wau Wau. I managed to sneak these shots during the Royal Bastich case. They are some of the only known pictures in existance of him. He always used a stand-in for the book pictures. He figured that all German Shepards looked alike to the public. I have confirmed he was in Pinwheel at the time of the heist, and went aboard a private jet with his current human, named GeoffC, who was carrying a chocolate football trophy, which was comfortable large enough to carry the Golden Corpolite in it. The private jet just happened to be piloted by a good friend of the dead queen's bath attendant. Who was carrying the time-lock key to the vault, among other head-of-state communication devices, commonly know as "the football", at the time of her death. Ralph always had a sense of humor."
VR had kinda gone blank and just sorta sat there. It's hard on people to find out their idol is a crook. Especially, on a talking doggie who only had a couple of peers.
"So, which side are you on, Ralph's or the Queen's?"
VR looked up. "The Queen's. She scratches me much better. I assume the jet went to Oz?"
"Yep. And you know that Ralph is smarter than both of us put together. I have reason to suspect that his plan will take place in Oz, under a corporate cover. What corporation, and where, I still don't have a clue. Yet. As to why he did it, I don't know. And I mean the why behind the why. Maybe we'll get more info from BadGoodDeb in Canberra. Meanwhile, I need to rack out for a few hours. How 'bout you going up and chattin' with the pilot. Make him earn his keep."
I slumped over and went to the dreamtime....