[Greg Anos]

I spent the next couple of days waiting on BadGoodDeb's report. In the meantime, I braced VR to get his end of the job rollin'.

"Howdy, VR. I need for you do to some prep work for this job. Things are still not movin' yet, but when they let loose, I'm gonna need to move fast. And with some horsepower behind me."
"Buy your own beans, Redneck."
"Now that's not the right attitude to take. I came for some simple requests to help with the diplomatic end of things, and all I'm getting is static. You'd think you weren't interested in recovering Glittering Glop at all."
"So far, all I've seen is you growing calluses on your fundamental. I've paid $10K so far for legwork, and all I've gotten for it is $100K in medical bills for the Kingdom."
I was afraid he'd heard about BadGoodDeb. Seems I was right.
"Now, VR, if the Kingdom hadn't hired a common pervert for a customs officer, y'all wouldn't have that bill. Now let's get back to our rat killin'."
"The only rats I see getting killed are dying from old age."
"You know, if it weren't for queen Z, I'd let sniff out that coprolite yourself! And give you shoe leather afterburner while you're at it." I was gettin' a bellyful of this arrogant doggie.
He glared at me. I glared at him.
I guess he figgered that it wouldn't do his Viceroy gig much good if I quit on him. 'Cause then he'd have to explain why, and Certain People would not like the reason he'd have to give.
"All right, Redneck, what more do you need out of the Kingdom of Pinwheel?"
"I'll need a diplomatic passport, and a diplomatic pouch. Possibly some international transportation. I'm assuming you already have the same for yourself."
"My human carries the pouch."
I heroically left off a joke or six. Now that maybe I was gettin' some co-operation, I wasn't gonna queer the deal.
"Right."
"Why can't you get them from your own country? You are a citizen, aren't you?"
"Do you know what Foggy Bottom charges? At least $70 miilion in bribes - excuse me - campaign contributions, and then you gotta put up with the mamby-pamby peckin' order crap. I tryin' to do some work for Pinwheel, not get caught in some perpetual rump-kissin' contest. Y'all got the vested interest, not the US. Besides, as Sir Sir Ralph Sir Edward, in the internation Service of Her Majesty, this is not an unreasonable request."
"I guess not. Do you have you snapshots?"
"Right here."
"Hand them to my human. The pouch will have to come from the D.C. embassy, so it won't get here until tommorrow. How big?"
"Big enough to carry the glitteratti and my .22, if necessary. When we recover it, we don't want it goin' thru customs, now do we?"
VR has the good grace to look sheepish. "No, we don't want it to go thru customs and the Press. Anything else."
"Not at the moment. I suspect that the missing item is outside both our countries. But until I get my op's report back from Pinwheel, we won't know where."
"Do you have an idea where?"
"I have a strong idea where, but it's just that, an idea. This frog's not gonna hop till he hears some buzzin'. Now, if you don't mind, I'd just as soon sweat out the wait back at my office, rather than here."
"Don't let the door hit you on the backside, Redneck."