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I'm not really a group therapy person either, and I'm definitely still learning, so I'm hesitant about offering advice. But, for what it's worth ...
My current big project has been in my head for almost 2 years now, and I'm guessing the writing won't start in earnest for several months yet. Part of this is other commitments, but some is knowing that there are still pieces I need - so I'm reading lots of books, fiction and non-fiction, specifically chosen to feed this idea. This isn't planning as such, I don't really plan my books beyond an idea of where it's headed, it's just that I don't yet have enough to really put me in the story - which is where I have to be before I can write (different writers work in different ways, this is mine). Meanwhile I'm collecting characters and setting elements that I know are in there somewhere.
It was pegasi&prefects's comment about "reading analytically" that inspired me to add my comments here, because I think that's been a major factor in how my writing went from mucking about to actual usable output. That, combined with having a story idea working away in my head, means that almost everything I read or watch, and pretty much everything I do, takes on a new significance in light of the story. Sometimes the thoughts are technical ("ooh, I hope I don't to that to my readers", or "that's a neat way of showing things"), and sometimes it's story related ("but what if it was like this, instead?"). But very often relationship between experiences and the ideas they generate are less obvious, but it seems to work (for me).
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