So I am about a quarter of the way through this and I am really enjoying this. I'll mention that my library informed me that the Lacson-Locsin translation I wanted will not be available. So I obtained the Kindle version of the Guerrero translation.
So I find Rizal's sarcastic wit worthy of Johnathan Swift.
Spoiler:
That he was at peace with God cannot be doubted; it was almost dogma. There are no reasons to be on bad terms with the good God when one is well-off, has never had any dealings with Him, and has never lent Him money. Capitan Tiago had never addressed himself to God in his prayers, not even in his greatest difficulties; he was rich, and he let his money pray for him. God has created (he would have argued) aloof and powerful priests to say masses and prayers of intercession, while, as for novenas and rosaries, He had, in His infinite mercy, created for the benefit of the rich, needy substitutes who, for a peso, were quite capable of saying even sixteen decades of the Holy Rosary in a row and of reading all possible prayer books, including, at a suitable increase in fee, even the Bible in Hebrew. If in times of acute distress Capitan Tiago needed divine help, and could not put his hands on even one Chinese red candle, he called on the saints, both male and female, to whom he had special devotion, making them uncounted promises to persuade them that what he wanted from them was good. But most of his promises he made to the Virgin of Antipolo, Our Lady of Peace and Happy Voyage. What is more, he kept these promises, which is more than can be said of his behaviour toward certain saints of lower category, with whom he was rather remiss and even ungentlemanly; indeed, sometimes, having got what he wanted, he put them out of his mind. It is equally true, of course, that he never bothered them again either. Capitan Tiago felt that there were many unemployed saints in the calendar who did not know what to do with themselves in Heaven. But to the Virgin of Antipolo he attributed a greater power and efficacy than all the other Virgins, put together, whether they carried silver sceptres, or a Child Jesus dressed, or a Child Jesus naked, or scapulars, or rosaries, or girdles. Perhaps this was due to the Virgin of Antipolo’s reputation for severity and concern for her prestige. According to the sacristan of her shrine, the Virgin, whom he claimed to be an enemy of the photographic arts, turned black as ebony when she was displeased, unlike other Virgins who were more indulgent and had softer hearts. It is well-known that certain people love an absolute monarch better than a constitutional one, and for proof there is the difference in fortunes between Louis XIV and Louis XVI, or Philip II and Amadeo I. For this reason, perhaps, people went on their knees up the length of the Virgin’s shrine to the foot of her altar, even Chinese unbelievers and haughty Spaniards. What defied explanation was why, for all that, the custodians of the shrine sometimes ran off to America and got married on the money offered to the fearsome Virgin.
It goes on like this for a few more pages.